Under the Cloud of Shame

It's easy. It's easy when the only person that sees your sin is God. It's easy when you only have to confess to him. It is easy because you are not afraid that God will look down on you or look at you differently because of what he has seen you do. It all changes when you put a human face to the confession. Priests are easy because they can't really see you. They might be able to tell by your voice who you are, but by and large they may not be a part of your day to day.
I think this is why the epistle of James tells us
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
God will forgive you.
A priest will tell you to go and sin no more.
An honest friend will make sure that you know the disappointment of God.
Today I was held accountable for sin in my life. The disappointment in his eyes was like looking into the eyes of God. But he also prayed for me, that I would be forgiven, something I myself had already prayed for. But there is still that shame that drives me toward conviction.
The more I confess, the more I will be convicted to change. The more I will be refined by the fires of the spirit of God within me.
James went on to say that the "Prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective"
Shame hurts, it makes me physically ill, just as I feel right now. It makes me feel like I should go and justify my actions. But there is no justification for sin-only the truth-if continue it will lead to a further separation from God-and death. I was offered grace by my friend and by God-I am amazed at unconditional love, I am amazed by grace...